Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will

This was an incredible book for me. My son’s meltdowns were progressively getting more and more explosive. I had gotten this book when my kids were toddlers. During one of his meltdowns when I didn’t have a clue of how we got there…I grabbed the book. Looked in the table of contents for what I was seeing. Throwing, hitting…. Opened and quickly read the chapters. Low and behold, I had unconsciously screwed up. He was so frustrated and disconnected from not being heard. I fixed the situation at hand. And then consciously worked on myself moving forward. It was bumpy and messy. But the meltdowns decreased significantly and now they are not explosive. We talk about how we feel in the moment and my kiddo gets to voice his disdain for a situation with a safe adult. I highly recommend. I’m pretty sure it diverted us from and admission from day rehab. It was getting that scary.

I have read all of Dr. Shefali's books and am eagerly awaiting her third book coming out May 31st. This book came to me at a time I was struggling with my oldest child. Angry, impulsive, not listening. Then I was introduced to Dr. Shefali's work. And my life has been changed forever. Both as a person and a parent.Her ideas will find you saying " is she for real?" If I don't discipline my children things will not only get worse, but I will lose any control I had. Rest assured struggling parent, this will not be the outcome. I am living proof. My children ages 7,5, and 3 are living proof. There is a better way. We continue to drink the parent Kool Aid that tells us we need to change our child. We need to be more strict, exercise more control to shape and mold our children. So they can essentially be the child we want, not the child entrusted to us. Notice how many times I said "we"? Meaning "I" not your child. Meaning your ego, your script. Not the one that your child entered this earth already possessing.I have about a 1000 sticky notes tucked through out this book and 10,000 sentences underlined. I would leave sticky notes of these life changing insights for my husband in any place I knew he would see them. When I feel I am getting "out of control" I come back to this book and reread it. I find my groove again and my household is at peace once again.I have since meet Dr.Shefali. If you have the chance to attend a speaking engagement of hers, do it! It will only enrich your life. And your children's.I am in no way affiliated with Dr. Shefali other than a loyal reader, whose life has been changed for the better. I share her work with everyone I know and several other parents have experienced the same relief. Buy this book! Buy her two other books The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. And prepare for your own transformation.

This book changed my live. It is a beautiful blend of understand your children, understanding yourself, and become a more conscious family. This book allows you to parent without feeling like you are compromising yourself or your child's spirit. It has raised the level of love and connection in my family to a level I have always wanted to have but didn't know how to get there, now we are. There are few books that I can say changed my life and this is one of them. It changed my life and my families lives as well. This amazing book has changed all the relationships in my life as well, co-workers, in-laws, friends, and so on. I view myself and everyone in a space of love and acceptance. I am more aware of myself and more conscious of my behavior and what I am putting out there. I have moments of reflecting and understand why my child saying something has triggered something deep with in me. If we were taught how to approach each person in this manner the world would change for the better and what a better place to start than with your children.

Very informative made me look at things from another perspective, would you treat your child with the same courtesy as your friend. If you talked to your friend or any other human being the way you talk to and treat your child, would they still have respect for you, would they want to be around you? Would they respond to you positivel? Our emotions when we see our child doing the same things we used to do and we want to stop it so we are more aggressive and emotional and our children do not know where all this is coming from and they don't want to be around us so they won't have to feel our tension. You have to get rid of that emotion and direct your child without all that stress and tension, which rubs off onto them. Great book!!!

I'm not a parent. I read this book to answer some questions I had about different styles of parenting, but what it ended up doing for me so much more. The principles in the book can be applied to any relationship, including marriage or friendships and especially with teachers in the classroom. I'd imagine anyone who applies what they learn here will be so much better a person than they were before they knew the revolutionary ideas taught here.This book is nearly perfect. There were very few parts that I thought were a bit too extreme in one direction or too exaggerated, but for every negative thing there were 100 good things.Every person on earth should read this book.

This book helps you understand why kids act out and how to develop connection. It helps you evaluate how you are currently parenting and highlights the need for connection instead of discipline and control.

As a conscious and spiritual family, I was looking for some guidance of how to discipline our toddler. This book not only helped me realize how I influenced my daughter's behavior but it really was therapeutic in bringing back memories of my own childhood and coming to a place of healing and understanding for the way my parents disciplined me. It surfaced a lot of feelings for me but helped heal them at the same time and by doing this, it really helped me recognize my parents struggles and the type of parent I want to be. I would recommend this book to any and all of our open minded friends who really want to work on themselves as parents.

Kein Standard Erziehungshelfer. Der Blick geht hier in erster Linie auf die Arbeit, die man als Elternteil zu leisten hat (was man bei einem selber ändern oder ergründen muss).Viele Beispiele, nicht nur Theorie.Es ist das beste zu dem Thema was ich gelesen habe.Ich könnte mir vorstellen dass es nicht jedem gefällt, da man einen kritischen Blick auf sich selbst werden muss, wer aber offen dafür ist der wird eine Menge Aha-Momente erleben.Es liest sich sehr gut und es gibt auch keinen belehrenden Ton. Die Autorin schreibt mit sehr viel Verständnis und Umsicht.

This book gives great solutions and explanations for children and parent relationships. It gives very useful tools and practices in a simple way that works.

This book should be mandatory reading for anyone that is involved in the care of a child. I would suggest that a conscious parenting / teacher ladder be made available for purchase. This could be hung in every home and class room and serve as a humble reminder that we as educators have many things to learn and must be open to new ways of doing things. It would also serve as a visuals aide showing children that life is fluid and we all , children and adults , must adjust our way of being in order to make the best of what IS.

I really enjoyed this book.I have been putting into practice the approaches Dr Shiva recommends and I am experiencing the benefits for both me & my children

Very good