How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

Let me just start by extending my utmost gratitude and appreciation to the author of this book. For years I watched in horror as my cat made decision after reckless decision, wasting eight of his precious God given lives. A tale as old as time...His first life was lost to marijuana poisoning. Second and third, sacrificial satanic rituals gone awry. Fourth life lost after a pistol misfire during a wild western style dual with the neighbor’s cat...(and don’t even get me started on the neighbor’s cat!) In his fifth life he hussled too hard. That one is particularly difficult for me to talk about without triggering a series of violent emotional fits, my apologies. During his sixth life he dabbled purr-fusely as an esteemed purr-fessional gigalo, falling victim to a wicked transmitted disease (Looking at you, neighbor’s cat!!!), the likes of which modern medicine has yet to find a cure. Much to my dismay, both his seventh AND eighth lives were spent smuggling weapons (and catnip) across the Canadian border. My cat, an arms dealer? And smuggling the “purr-p nip” illegals?! I’d just about had it, friends. One day shortly after he’d entered his ninth life, I noticed he’d checked out a book on Satanism from our local library. I’d also witnessed him making soft eyes at the neighbor’s cat. "NOT AGAIN" I thought, “NOT THIS TIME AROUND.” Fearful of what would happen if I didn’t intervene, I began to research diligently for any applicable preventative guidance that might be available to the public. I was determined to secure the purity and safety of my dear cat during his final curtain call in this malicious world! By chance, I stumbled upon this glorious and assistive owners guide. It has more than just your average, run of the mill tips and tricks. It provided my wounded heart and weary spirit with a roadmap to facilitating positive change. In it I found a fresh perspective and countless renewed approaches for talking openly with my cat, sans hesitation. We discussed the errs of recklessness with calculated purr-pose. Sure, we were both hesitant at first... cautious, slightly flustered and embarrassed. Despite the temporary social discomfort this book paved way for opportunity in developing an unfiltered bond of trust between the two of us. We collaborated. We discussed our feelings and experiences. We enlightened each other with the gift of perspective from our own personal lens. My cat now lives each day to the absolute fullest. He helps out around the house, folds laundry, and even makes dinner one night a week. He studied and invested in the stock market, finding a decent amount of success therein. He hasn’t stolen my car or any petty cash from my purse to this date and has yet to watch a single R rated film, insisting he has no desire to ever do so (the only exception being the Wolf of Wall Street). As an additional bonus he managed to convert the neighbor’s cat to Christianity, both of them swearing scout’s honor to a life of respectable celibacy! He also practices mindfulness, meditation and gratitude in hopes to one day land among the monks. Friends, I can now proudly declare that my cat has turned over many a new leaf! He is a positive and astute influence for all, a jovial saint, a blessing with fur—and it’s all thanks to this book! If you can relate in any way to the troubles and tribulations outlined in this review and are for some reason still on the fence about purchasing this book, allow me put your indecision to bed. You will not regret this investment in the slightest. Even if you don’t personally own a cat but know someone that does, buy it. It’s worth every penny to secure this credible, top-drawer reference guide! Educate yourself and everyone you know for the greater good. Don’t wait for your cat to lose another of their nine lives, buy today! Knowledge is power and safety is key, click “buy it now” and grateful you’ll be.All the stars!

FINALLY! A definitive guide for cat mommies and daddies to teach their baby kitties the most fundamentally important lessons for Making America Cat-tastic Again. So many purrfect explanations on the best ways to raise your furbabies Right. I can't believe it took me this long to find the best book on the catservative lifestyle. It's got the best words, beautiful words, probably the greatest words ever written --even The Don-Don would be impressed. Be sure to add this book to your collection today and raise them kitty cats to be true Purrtriots! 🥸

This read is an absolute essential. Life saving, really.If it wasn't for this book, I wouldn't know how to go about my cat. Raises awareness about possible issues that may arise and helps you prepare.A pawsome 10/10!

Absolutely hilarious gift. This was the perfect present for my dad, who is a cat and gun enthusiast. Very fun little book toook through.

I bought it for my sister who loves cats. She got a kick out of it. I read a bit from it before I wrapped it and thought it was funny.

The book is very funny if this is your kind of humor. It’s very divisive, but I think the general consensus is that this is heavily disguised satire. I honestly don’t think it’s right-wing ideology, but rather supposed to sound like it with cats juxtaposed to make it silly. Got it for a friend as a gift, initial reaction was shock at some of the riskier bits but was overall laughed about.

It’s hilarious and goes into such detail. My partner is going to love it.

Bought for a white elephant Christmas in July party and it was stolen/locked immediately