Psychopath Free (Expanded Edition): Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People Paperback – September 1, 2015

I began working in branch sales for a Fortune 500 company in 2002 and met our division VP in 2003. He brought me on the National Account team and constantly flattered me and my sales performance. It worked. I sold $4 million dollars in new business when the company only projected a $1 million in new growth. I attributed my success to his being a "good boss" rather than my 14-hour work days. Then he promised me a promotion if I moved to our corporate headquarters in Memphis. I moved and soon after he told me he was in love with me, his wife was horrible to him and he couldn't work with me if I didn't return his feelings. What do you do when you're young, naive and your mentor and hero says this to you? If you're an empathetic person like me you try to save them because you think they saved you by giving you a career (what college graduate doesn't want to show their parents that?). Our (fake) love story lasted 10 years and it didn't end in the happy marriage and home life he promised, it ended with him draining me of all my money due to his alleged $150K debt from ID theft, abandoning me with his sick mother in Boston for a VP job in Torrance and beach front apartment in Palos Verdes and then he told police I stole money from his mother when she gave me money as her caregiver to buy her food and medicine and pay her bills while he was away. How did I feel after he destroyed my life? Not angry. Instead, I felt dazed or blamed myself. Why did he have me arrested when he dumped his responsibilities on me and I was only trying to help? What did I do wrong to make him stop loving me? How could he want sex on Friday (fortunately I was too tired after spending two months on renovations he ordered on his mother's house while he was away), dump me on Saturday (an hour after the final walk through with the contractors), scream at me on Sunday he's going to see to it I rot in prison for larceny, and then have me arrested on Monday, catch a plane back to CA for work, tell my crying mother he doesn't have to listen to her sh*t and that night goes on Facebook and likes football photos of my nephews on my brother's page? Furthermore, since my parents foiled his plans to see me rot in prison, he got a restraining order against me so I can't collect my pets, furniture, clothes and personal property for 6 months. Because the judge issued a no contact order with his mother, he left my little dogs with her so I can't call her to ask how they are doing or arrange a pick-up. I am amazed how well he knows how to use the law to continue to hurt me. I never knew justice could be perverted. That's what the soulless do. Fortunately, my parents got me out of jail after 17 days (I've only been before a judge for a speeding ticket so that should tell how good of a storyteller these psychopaths are) and took their suicidal daughter (who suffered a miscarriage her 3rd day in jail) home and immediately got me into counseling. I cried everyday for 3 months and when I broke down and called him he yelled at me how I ruined his life because he has to quit his job and go back to Boston to take care of his mother. That was it. I was a non-person to him. I couldn't understand how this was the same man who love bombed me in 2003 and told me for years he would hunt me down and kill me if I ever left him. I couldn't believe this was the real him. Through therapy I came to understand words like narcissist, sociopath and psychopath. I didn't want to believe he was one but then again the behaviors they engage in was like checklist on our relationship. I couldn't ignore the obvious. It was time to get educated. So far this is my favorite book on the subject. It discusses the psychopath but it also discusses the good hearts of their targets and how what feels like weakness because love is used against the victim it is actually our greatest strength towards recovery and finding the real love we want and deserve. I had to see the ugliness to understand what (TF?!) happened to me but I needed hope too and I think this book offers that. I also recommend yoga as part of this healing process. I'm doing it everyday and yes, my body is as weak (he hated it when I went to the gym because he'd accuse me of flirting with other men so I stopped going to please him instead of seeing how he was erasing my ID) as my spirit feels but being patient with my body as it gets stronger teaches me to be patient with my spirit too. Self care is so important in the recovery stage. Many people who love me want me to hurry up and heal and move on because they hate seeing me hurt but what it does is make me feel guilty because I can't. What my body teaches me is strength takes practice and time and that makes me feel okay that the spirit does do. This whole process hurts like hell and you will be a mess afterwards but this book is like a friend who gets it and walks you through the process. I highly recommend it.

I can truly say without hesitation that this book helped me resolve most - if not all - of the cognitive dissonance that I was STILL experiencing after two and a half YEARS of No Contact... in about 48 hours. I attained more closure (lol!) and insight from this book than from 2 years of intense therapy. Of everything I have ever read on this subject in an attempt to get past it and move forward, this is the last word. This book confirms for me the idea that until you have gone through this exact experience yourself, you cannot help or advise or really understand anyone who has. It is truly a "my life before and my life after" type of experience. Thank you Jackson for writing this book and for the website which was one of the best resources for dealing with the aftermath of a relationship with a toxic/disordered person. Your work is invaluable. Thank you. AN ABSOLUTE REVELATION. A MUST READ.P.S. I am going to comment on a few of the other reviews I read here as I feel there are possibly a few misconceptions. I noticed several people addressing the issue of the website being down. I stumbled across the site two plus years ago, in a completely random attempt to scour the internet for some nebulous answer to what I had just experienced. Blindly reaching for something.. anything to help me ease the pain and quiet my frantic yet relentless thoughts about the relationship. At that time the book was still in ebook form and if I remember correctly was on the brink of being published. The forums and threads were an absolute godsend. The Aha! moments Oprah refers to were washing over me in waves. In addition to the content there, there were links to resources that eventually led me to other immensely helpful sites. Kim Saeed at Let Me Reach and Love Fraud and Melanie Tonia Evans are in my opinion all particularly thorough, lucid and healing. I think that if you have ever really experienced a relationship with a disordered person you may be able to glean the answer as to why the forum portion of the site was taken down after the book was published. Disordered people are all on a spectrum like people with autism. Varying degrees of severity, if you will. Some are particularly dangerous and deranged. They can stalk a target and very often do after the relationship. Adding insult to injury seems a fitting metaphor. Perhaps the site being closed to the public was nothing more than a security and self-protection measure. Just a thought. One specific review was less than kind and although that individual has every right to his or her opinion I cannot even imagine using the term "whiny" to descibe this book. No survivor would ever belittle or minimize the story of another survivor. Yes, fellow reviewer, this experience is most definitely the same for everyone who has actually experienced it. Not every detail assuredly but the emotions, stages, symptoms, YES. Without question. I saw some part of my story in each and every story I have ever read or heard. Hundreds. I know you read the book, but I doubt that you actually had a run in with a psychopath. Enough said.

I've never written a review for Amazon before. This is the first time (and may very well be my last time). I'm writing this review because, point blank, this book changed my life. And adding to the stars here is the only way I can reach out to anyone else who's gone through the horrible, self degenerating experience of being with a psychopath.This book can heal you. It's the equivalent of some kind of a magic pill in written form. And it's written purely FOR the victim and about the victim. It's not about the sociopath. It's about what they did to you, and why you're not wrong. I can only compare reading this book to being six years old, and being held and loved by one of my parents. It's the kindest thing you can give to yourself.For me at least, every word in this book literally happened to me -- down to exact quotes. For years and years I've struggled to even ADMIT that the man I loved was a psychopath -- because I didn't want to believe it and because I'd been conditioned to think that everything was my fault.5 pages into this book, I started to ball my eyes out. Not because I was missing the man that tortured me for years then ditched me like a piece of trash -- but because for the first time in 20 years I was able to fully believe that I was not to blame. I could see things from a perspective I never could see before, despite all the efforts of the people around me. I always thought everything was my fault and was gaslighted to the point that I thought I was just crazy.This book is a gift. It is the kindest gift you can ever give to yourself. No retribution, no therapy and no other person can replace the time spent alone, thinking, reading, and seeing everything you went through in black and white text.