Neglect-The Silent Abuser: How to Recognize and Heal from Childhood Neglect

I have been in therapy for over 30 years!! That's right a long time! In this book the author says many things about emotional neglect along with how to recover. In the recovery section she recommends attending ACA meetings which I have done and it makes a world of difference! We are not alone!! Google Adultchildren.org and start going to meetings - it will change your life!! Thanks for writing this book....

On the plus side, this book seems to be written at about an 8th-grade reading level, with extremely short chapters (some were only a page long) so it's likely very accessible for many people. Unfortunately, I found the writing style tediously simplistic and repetitive. And as an editor myself, I frequently was distracted from the narratives and examples by really poor editing and continuity. I had been hoping for some recommendations that were deeper than "embrace a higher power, find a 12-step program, and journal a lot," but was disappointed that these seemed to be the gist of the author's suggestions. I recommend skipping this book if you are more rigorously-minded and results-oriented.

IF A PICTURE IS WORTH 10,000 WORDS, THE COVER PICTURE OF ENOD GRAY'S BOOK, "NEGLECT, THE SILENT ABUSER" SPEAKS VOLUMNS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS IN FAR TOO MANY FAMILIES. THIS CONCISE, WELL-WRITTEN BOOK COULD HELP ANYONE WHO WAS ABUSED OR NEGLECTED AS A CHILD. THE BOOK GIVES A POWERFUL EXPLANATION OF BOTH THE TYPES OF ABUSE AND THE EFFECTS THAT ABUSE HAD ON A PERSON'S LIFE. CONGRATULATIONS TO ENOD GRAY FOR ADDRESSING THIS ISSUE THAT IS SO DAMAGING TO THE INNOCENT VICTIMS IN OUR SOCIETY.

I loved this book so much I endorsed it, but that wasn't enough.I want to share a few of my favorite quotes from Neglect: The Silent Abuser:"...you should definitely tell your story because lightness comes at the end, when you are validated and accepted and especially when you hear others tell their stories that are so like your own. You know that you are no longer alone.""Neglect is the cornerstone of all other abuse. It is this foundational wounding that precludes other, more overt types of abuse. What child who experiences overt abuse was valued, loved, seen, accepted and considered?""In clinical terms, neglect is called attachment disorder. Neglect is sometimes used interchangeably with “abandonment.” However, the word abandonment brings up images of being physically left, whereas neglect is about people who are physically present but emotionally absent, people who are present but not present at the same time. Neglect feels lonely – extremely lonely – precisely because one is in the presence of others, but the others are not truly there. When one is a child and the “others” are Mommy and Daddy, it can be especially damaging, even life-threatening. The younger a child is when he or she experiences neglect, the more damaging it is.""Children come into this world with needs, starting with basic survival. They need to be fed, cleaned, attended to, and loved. At each stage of development, guidance directed at teaching life skills to the child is needed. In an ideal situation, the energy goes in the direction of the child, not the other way around. Keeping in mind that the child will grow up and will need skills to operate in this world independently, the parents’ teachings build on themselves as the child matures. But when the child is under-nourished or over-controlled by the parents, the child does not adequately develop these much-needed skills.""Do you ever overreact or feel weird about a situation without understanding why you feel so upset or abandoned or out of control? If so, it’s likely that you have called up a feeling from the unconscious part of your brain because the present situation is similar in some way to a traumatic situation in your past. The current situation has unconsciously triggered a reaction to past trauma.""The human body is marvelously adaptable as a way of ensuring our survival...our inner psyche provides a wide array of ways in which we can avoid feeling the enormous pain of a neglectful or abusive reality.""The true Self is the part that is connected to your divine essence. When you are neglected, certain parts of your true Self become walled off, shut down, locked up, closed, tucked away. As a result, certain aspects of your emotional Self remain underdeveloped."Safety"Through the developmental stages, the brain and body learn to recognize cues to know when someone or something is safe or not. But for many neglected children, this does not happen. Because their home is not safe, they never learn to distinguish between safe and unsafe people and situations. This portion of their emotional and psychological development just does not take place."Because the neglected child (and later the adult) craves attention yet can’t distinguish who is and who isn’t safe, he or she may allow himself or herself to be taken advantage of by people who are not safe. This not only applies to sexual predators and con artists, but to people who subconsciously prey on vulnerable people in less obvious ways. Because the neglected child/adult is programmed to seek attention at any cost, abuse of some sort is often part of the picture of both their childhood and adult history. Therefore, the neglected/abused child becomes a neglected/abused adult.""When neglected and/or abused adults eventually get in touch with themselves and trust their intuition, they can develop the discernment necessary to detach from abusive relationships and to avoid unhealthy people. They can also begin to exude the positive energy needed to attract healthy adults into their lives.""Individuals neglected as children often get confused as to the meaning of love. And how could they not when they never saw it? Thus, they tend to become attracted to people who are not good for them. And negative Self-talk about the bad choices they make only adds to the pain."I'm really grateful to have a whole book to look at this devastating, and so invisible, issue of neglect. I'd like to get a whole stack of them to hand out to my clients and read it repeatedly myself - it's that validating.

It’s a really great, neutral perspective on ways to address childhood trauma without feeling like the author is demanding you to do anything in particular. It was a real eye opener for me in the beginning, so I was hooked. Kinda wish it was longer!

As someone who never reads, like since childhood. This book was very easy to follow and I didn't want to put it down. It offered some really helpful insight and I look forward to finding other books by the Author as well!

I found this book to be very interesting and it seems to cover many areas of neglect.

Neglect - The Silent Abuser is a wonderful resource for better understanding the impact of neglect you may have experienced. It provides information and clear examples. It also provides a pathway to not just understanding but also healing. A must read for anyone who recognizes (or suspects) they have been impacted by neglect.

I read this book in one sitting. I am planning on reading it again soon.