Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate

Working as psychotherapist and couple therapist I am always searching for new ways to work with both my couples in relationships and individuals looking for a life partner or love. The beauty of this book Wired For Dating and Stan Tatkin's previous books Wired For Love is that it puts theories about attachment, neuroscience and arousal regulation into simple language. Dating is a difficult process for many in today's virtual world. Being armed with solid information that helps people dating "think" is so important for individuals and society as a whole. The problems caused for many who rush into relationships not armed with useful information can cause enormous pain. Stan Tatkin's is an advocate for the importance of putting Relationships First and in this book he educates not only adults but even young people on how to navigate relationships. The term used in the book of "Sherlocking" helps support what myself as a therapist feels is extremely important for my clients who are dating. I know of a few that have read this book and it has changed their dating style and for myself as a therapist has given my sessions with those dating a new positive direction. Highly recommend it.

If you are truly clueless about anything and everything related to dating, and have never heard of attachment patterns, you might benefit from this book. Otherwise don't waste your time. Embarrassed at how bad it was.

I'm a therapist who trains with Dr. Tatkin. So yes, I'm bias! The man is brilliant, sharp, using cutting edge understanding of the way we bond and maximize our relationships. He truly is amazing, and he is a genuine mentor. In fact, he's got this buddha vibe about him. The smiling and laughing Buddha that is! Since studying with Stan, the way I work with my couples changed drastically, and helped my couples tremendously. Not to mention how my own intimate relationship has benefited enormously. Wired for Dating is a must read! It lays a strong foundation on what it means to be in a win-win relationship, and how to avoid the pitfalls we all face at times; pitfalls that can destroy relationships when not dealt with efficiently. I wish I had known all of this material years ago. So many wasted years. And more importantly, I'm glad I found Stan. It's never too late to have a great relationship!

Tatkin's book is much more balanced and practical than many of the attachment-based relationship books out there. His explanation of the neurobiology of attraction is easy to understand and incredibly important in making sense of new relationship experiences and changes in thinking and behavior that can otherwise be puzzling or hurtful. He offers practical ideas for how to understand one's own and others' needs in relationship and styles of relating, and how to take better care of oneself before and during the development of a potential partnership. The book is written for people seeking a healthy relationship with a long-term committed partner, but many of my clients have found it useful for healthier ways to approach dating in general, even when commitment is not a current goal.

Last week a psychotherapy client came in and shared quotes from Wired for Dating that she had just included in her online dating profile! This is a pretty perfect endorsement of this book - and very typical of what I hear from many clients.Through examples and self tests, the book explains attachment tendencies, how they manifest in dating and how to work with these tendencies skillfully to optimize experience. The tone is accessible, encouraging and decidedly non-pathologizing - a great ballast for the anxiety and overwhelm that is so often part of the dating terrain.The stance of the book is deeply valuing of partnership and inspires readers to educate themselves and invest in this endeavor. In a culture that can be so profoundly self-interested and alienated, Dr. Tatkin's voice offers a vibrant alternative.

If you've read Stan's other books, then you have a sense of what's on offer here--smart, practical, neurobiologically and attachment informed relational advice--but this is his best so far. Stan has a knack for continuing to put out new, and better material: in addition to being a very sane guide to dating (I've not seen another one that takes its cue from the latest research, while also being original and creative), there are lots of exercises and general advice applicable to long-standing relationships as well. I am a clinical psychologist and of course human being with a vested interest in getting better at relationships and understanding what makes them work, and there are few writers or models out there I would recommend more highly. Definitely not to be missed.

It's a very good book on dating written for the average person with no knowledge of biopsychology. Some of the explanations of biopsychological concepts fall a little bit short and could have been more detailed. The book is mostly focusing on the exercises to help the reader learn what to do when dating. It is a very good read was really helpful.

I love this book! It makes me want to date, I look forward to figuring things out with a potential partner more and more as I re-read my favorite passages. I especially appreciate the idea that we can learn to soothe our partners when things get tense between us and that there are ways to think about how our respective styles of relating can be handled successfully. This island is looking forward to my future anchor. I especially loved his myths about love: this 60+ person is ready to jump right in!

Very interesting, easy read. The book is very practical and offers the right amount of exercises to grasp the concepts.

The main thing I loved about this book was how many direct and straightforward examples and suggestions of behaviour it contains. It’s not strategy alone, it shows how to integrate and implement exactly what you’re learning.

I felt the way that he would write and describe things were very relatable. Great take on attachment theory - very refreshing.

I really enjoyed the first half of the book. However, found the second half irrelevant at this stage.

Life changing...have recommended to all my friends